Editor’s note: Trudy Ann Brandenburg is a marketing specialist at Nationwide Insurance, Columbus, Ohio.

Being a moderator may look easy - the good ones make it look that way. But moderating is challenging. From the minute participants begin filing into the receptionist center until they leave the room for the evening, a moderator must be constantly on her toes.

If you’re a moderator, you know how it is - the participants trod into the room with their pop and cookies. “Hi.” “Hello.” “Hi.” You greet them with a hearty welcome and a smile, even though you may be so exhausted from the first group or the travel that you wish you could curl up in the back room, before the observers arrive, and take a power nap.

Based on your overall performance with the last group, or presumptions, or the way the participants introduced themselves, or the look on their faces, or what they’re wearing, or a tiny premonition in your left elbow, you have that flicker of fear that the people, despite the incentive they’ll receive, are going to hate what you have to talk about and be, basically, difficult.

All moderators know that fear. But thankfully, they are often happily surprised when the group ends up going quite well.

Valuable lesson

Having moderated consumer focus groups and telephone conferences, I’m ecstatic to know that in fact, one cannot judge a book by its cover. This is a valuable lesson that being a moderator has really taught me and has helped me in other areas of my life as well as my career.

The man walking in with dirty hair and a ripped t-shirt may make you want to run from the room screaming, but about 10 minutes into the group you realize, “This is one smart guy.”

Then there’s the woman who says, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom who lives in a trailer until we can find a better place,” and you instantly wonder where the recruiters went wrong. But as she begins to explain her situation, the investments she’s made, and the research she’s done on insurance companies, your heart lifts and you thrill to her insightfulness.

Some recent groups I moderated were no different. After the first group, spotting a severe negative tension in the air for whatever reason, I was expecting the bad vibe to breed. I had my work cut out for me.

The group ended up being rather quiet and somewhat uninvolved, but successful. Afterwards, I felt like I imagine people must feel on a deep sea fishing boat: fighting with that fish for hours and finally hauling it into the boat - exhausted yet pleased.

(I sometimes wonder what the people around the table may be thinking of me, but I never really want to know. “Her lipstick clashes with her shirt.” “Her hair has a cowlick in the back.” “What is she babbling about?” Do I sound hokey, fake, goofy? Am I acting too excited about designing a brochure for an insurance plan? Often while reviewing the tapes, I find it was not as bad as I had imagined.)

Based on the experience with the first group, I begin the next by saying something that I think will ignite comments from everyone. Immediately, I wish I could hit a rewind button. They all look like deer caught in headlights. One man shifts in his chair, another taps his pencil on his notepad.

The room grows too quiet but I don’t feel I should add to my comment. Then, like a cricket under a rock, the quiet lady to my left softly chirps out the most fantastic idea anyone has ever heard in their lives and the group becomes instantly engaged. I want to lean over and give her a thank-you hug.

Exhausting

Doing a series of groups can be exhausting due to the travel, the ever-present happy face you have to wear, and the energy it takes to act as if “that’s the most fantastic idea I’ve ever heard” when, in fact, you’ve heard the same idea dozens of times within the past week. Sincerity is key, separating the good moderators from the bad.

It’s not just the participants that amaze me. The different perspectives of a focus group’s viewing clients can come at you like whitewater rapids in a raging river when you walk into the back room, especially if there is a large audience. Take a deep breath and have an open and calm mind before opening that door.

Gain respect

Moderating focus groups has not only helped me become a better listener, it has also helped me gain more respect for all kinds of people. I’ve learned that just because someone may look or talk or live a certain way, that doesn’t mean they do not have opinions and valuable insights that should be respected and considered. Never judge a book by its cover.