How researchers explain their profession at a cocktail party

Editor's note: This article appeared in the November 14, 2011, edition of Quirk's e-newsletter.  

Busybody. Lifeline. Annoying person. Herald. Pimp. Astronaut. If I told you that these are all phrases marketing researchers use to describe themselves, would you believe me? It's the truth. Researchers are inventive people and they've found some creative ways to communicate their profession to the research-clueless. One might not think that "marketing researcher" is an obscure profession or one that would be hard to describe but those two words strung together often elicit befuddled reactions.  

Quirk's President and Publisher Steve Quirk knows all too well this predicament. In his recent blog post titled "Son of a researcher" on quirksblog.com, Quirk discussed what it was like as a child having to explain his father's occupation: "While other kids' parents had careers that were easily explainable (nurse, lawyer, mechanic, banker), I always had a hard time describing what a market researcher was when people asked what my father did. I became so accustomed to watching their eyes glaze over as I outlined his job that I eventually just learned to say that he was a vice president at a company. This answer always seemed to satisfy people."

Quirk shared his blog on a few research-focused LinkedIn groups and presented this challenge to the research community: "How do you explain your job in marketing research at a cocktail party?"

As anticipated, others in the research industry have faced the same challenges though everyone seems to deal with the burning question of "What do you do?" differently. Some were straightforward and serious, others were flippant and cheeky and few have even decided it's not even worth the trouble of trying.

No-nonsense responses 

Some LinkedIn commenters took Quirk's question literally and obviously take their jobs very seriously as well, offering no-nonsense responses.

"We find out what a company's customers like, dislike and are willing to pay money for ... I get a lot of quizzical responses even when I thought I was doing a decent job explaining what it is we do."

"I tell them I am in marketing support, a provider of important and interesting solutions."

"In a nutshell, we provide market intelligence that supports key business decisions, providing the company with data-driven analyses and recommendations to know our market, identify gaps and maximize revenues."

"I tell them I provide research solutions!"

But this direct approach doesn't always work so well. "We explain to commercial clients that we find information/insight that helps them improve their profits. They usually nod approvingly and continue talking about the football!"

Brief and creative

Other commenters kept it brief and creative, using their research mojo to make the listener think.

"I usually tell people that we provide the lifeline to any 'smart' company."

"I tell them that I am the herald between normal people and manufacturers/service providers."

Self-deprecating research humor

Many reported using self-deprecating research humor to make their point, playing up the nuisance angle that hangs over research like a storm cloud.

"I tell them, 'You know those annoying people that call you at dinnertime and want to ask you 100 questions about your cereal? Yup, that's me!"

"I don't make the phone calls but I write the script and then look at what everybody said. Everyone can relate to that! Then I add, 'Market researchers are great to have at parties. We can talk for about five minutes on any topic.'"

"I tell them that I am a veritable font of useless information gathered over many years of bothering people while they eat. Then I throw in some innocuous product knowledge, like how many different Oreo cookies there are, and they immediately walk away. One night though a beautiful woman remained talking to me for hours, she was a researcher too."

"Sometimes I say, 'I tell the truth and irritate people.' Which is only partly true, as all such brief phrases are only partly true. Who goes to cocktail parties for deep insights?"

The gossip angle  

Another running theme that researchers might use to make their point is the gossip angle. And what cocktail party acquaintance doesn't want the dirt?

"Usually, I explain that I like to gossip and found a way to be paid for doing that. When I need to be serious, I usually say I'm a channel between consumers and companies."

"I say I'm a professional busybody who flies around the country asking people nosy questions for a living."

"I like to say that I get paid to be nosy for a living. A bit overly simplistic but it works in almost every crowd - and avoids the blank stare I receive when referencing focus groups or surveys."

Focus on the flashier

Knowing that words like "focus groups" and "surveys" don't make the average party-goer's ears perk up, some researchers gloss over the duller aspects of the job and focus on the flashier elements.

"I sometimes told people that I sent personable women out to work on the streets but that was in the days before online - and political correctness."

"I moved to media planning earlier this year after nine years in research agencies so now I just say I'm in media or advertising, which has a slightly better ring to it than research. Sorry, guys, after nearly a decade in the industry I didn't want to be asked again whether I 'do surveys.'"

"I say I do psychological research and specialize in pleasure and pain."

"I tell people I torture doctors for a living."

The cheekiest approach  

Others, though, take the cheekiest approach of all and don't even bother trying to explain themselves.

"I usually say I'm an astronaut."

"I like to say I am a fireman."

"If anyone asks, I'm a butcher."

And maybe this avoidance tactic is sensible because in reality, some people will never get it.

"'So you are a miner,' someone said to me once."

"My mom always said, 'Why couldn't you have been a doctor or a lawyer? Then it would be easy to tell my friends what you do.'"

Run the gamut

Explanations of the research profession truly run the gamut but most have found a workaround or at least a way to have a sense of humor about it. And perhaps one day this robust and vibrant industry that so many are passionate about will be mainstream and recognizable enough that a lengthy or creative explanation is no longer necessary.

A researcher can dream, right?